I broke my “Facebook Code of Ethics” last night without realizing it. There are several types of posts I try to avoid in this era of living intentionally—a vague post is one of them. I carefully chose my words, but I now realize the strong implications, given that I was talking about my baby, that the words “minor drama” can have. By the amount of texts and messages I received I recognized that more of an explanation might be helpful (thank you to my friends who expressed your concern for us!). So I will explain what happened yesterday in two ways.
The short and sweet explanation, or what we call the “Man Version” around here, is that an ultrasound technician called me the morning after my 20 week scan and asked if I could come in for another scan that day. He said they didn’t get clear enough images the first time. I said yes, scheduled my exam, and found out that night that Daelynn was indeed healthy.
The “Female Version” of this story adds a few more details. I felt anxious and excited going into my first 20 week ultrasound…would they find anything wrong, is she still a girl, was my life about to change forever due to the images we all saw? I can be a little dramatic at times, I know. I also feel like I am not naïve anymore, life is so precious and fleeting, and I truly need to enjoy each day with my loved ones because I do not know what I will face tomorrow.
I instantly liked my technician, she was warm and talkative…perfect, I wanted her to talk as much as possible during the scan! I let her know that I understood and respected that there were only certain things she could tell me, but to anything and everything she wanted to share I would gladly listen. She proceeded checking things off her list: heart, kidneys, stomach, diaphragm, brain, face, limbs, cord, etc. She would tell me what she was looking for and when she found it, just not a “looks good” or “everything looks fine.” She confirmed that Daelynn is definitely a girl and was in the frank breech position. Not the ideal position, but she is still so small and will most likely be changing positions frequently for the next ten weeks. Mel and the boys came in for the last part of the ultrasound and we got some the pictures I shared on Facebook that night. That was it, now I just needed to wait for my midwife to receive the report and then I could find out the exact findings of that scan.
One of my favorite aspects of having Kaiser is the ease of being able to communicate directly with my doctor/midwife. While I have rarely had a phone conversation with them, the internal message center has been a very reliable way to communicate and I have usually been able to get a response from the doctor/midwife herself in twelve hours or less. That night I promptly messaged one of the midwives that is caring for me during this pregnancy and who happened to deliver Micah. I asked if she would be willing to share the results of the ultrasound report when she receives it instead of me waiting until my appointment next week. I willingly admit that I am not patient when it comes to test results!
The next morning I was going about my usual Thursday routine after dropping Joel off at preschool when I got a call from an unknown number. I answered it and learned that it was an ultrasound technician from Kaiser. He said that some of the images from my scan the day before were not clear and he’d like to get me in ASAP, like one hour from then. He said it was very important that they have a complete report to give to the doctor and I really needed to come in that day (I found that comment odd because the tech the day before stated a few times that she had gotten really good images of everything she needed!). I calmly asked if there was anything more he could tell me. He said something like “Oh, these phone calls always freak mothers out.” (UHHHM YES!) “He said don’t worry, it’s only bad news if a doctor calls you.” Ok, trying not worry…that was going to be my goal for the day. I called Mel and let him know the latest update, and he offered to help coordinate his parents watching the boys since it would be difficult for him to make it to the appointment.
I made a few phone calls/texts and asked for prayer. Prayer for peace and that they would get the pictures they needed that evening. I then had to ask God for help numerous times that day, I wanted to take every thought captive and not let my imagination run wild with different problems that my little girl could be facing. A lesson I have learned this year, and need to keep learning, is that I need to be thankful for what I know to be true day to day or minute to minute…not worry about what I do not know. I cannot control all that is going to happen in my life, and I need to fully trust Jesus, He will do a much better job than I ever could. I often prayed throughout the day, “Thank you Jesus for each day that I get to be pregnant with Daelynn, thank you for this day. Thank you that I can feel her gentle movements and carry her in the amazing way you have designed babies to grow.”
After nap time, I dropped my kids off with Mel’s dad and headed to the Kaiser Hospital in Roseville. I checked into the radiology department and waited for my name to be called. While I was waiting I got a phone call from my midwife. She said that she received my message and wanted to give me the information she knew at that point. She said that the incomplete report indicated that everything they had definite images for looked wonderful and healthy, yay!!! I asked her what part of her body they did not get clear images of—it was her brain. She said she would let me know the results of the report when she got them the next day.
My name was called and I followed an ultrasound technician into the scan room. She said there were only a couple images she needed to get. She also shared that an image from the original scan made it appear as though there might be a cyst growing in her brain. (WHAT?!!) She shared that usually if the technician finds a cyst, he or she will leave a note for whoever creates the final report for the doctor. There was no note attached to that image making it seem like it was probably just a shadow, but they needed to know for sure. The scan only took a couple of minutes and I found out she’s still a girl and now head down, wonderful!
The next part of the scan was truly a gift, the technician read my emotions and said definitively “There is no cyst, she looks just fine.” My eyes swelled with tears as I felt relief wash over my body. The technician said the final report would go to the doctor but she wanted me to be able to sleep that night. That was it!!! Also, I did get a message from my midwife this morning confirming that everything was fine in the final report. Yesterday was such a good reminder of how vulnerable my heart has become now that I am a mother. What turned out to be completely nothing could have been something that many other mothers have had to face. I pray that my faith would continue to be strengthened as I face whatever challenges I am given in life, I am so thankful that no matter what happens, nothing can change the Hope I have in Christ. What gift in the midst of the most dire circumstances.